Working With Resistance: An Exercise In Self-Curiosity
Have you ever trained your physical body using resistance? Whether it's through weightlifting, resistance bands, or physiotherapy, working with resistance helps you grow stronger, even though it can feel uncomfortable. The same principle applies to our mental and emotional well-being. Just like in physical training, we face resistance when trying to create change or push past old habits. And just like in the gym, if we learn to work with that resistance instead of against it, we can make progress in powerful ways. Let’s explore how this concept of resistance can show up in our personal growth and how we can harness it to move forward.
Habits: Habits are automatic behaviors that we’ve learned through repetition. They can be positive (like brushing our teeth every morning) or negative (like overworking or habitual watching of series). When we’re trying to grow or change, our old habits often resist the new ones we’re trying to form. This resistance can be subtle, like feeling unusually tired when it’s time to work on a new project, or more obvious, like procrastinating or forgetting about our new goals.
Thoughts: Our thoughts can also show resistance. These are often self-limiting beliefs or negative self-talk that hold us back from our potential. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t do this,” or “This is too hard” are all forms of resistance. They’re our mind’s way of trying to protect us from the discomfort of change, even when that change is beneficial.
Ancestral Beliefs: Ancestral beliefs are ideas or values that have been passed down through generations. They can be explicit (“The Ross family is bad at sports”) or implicit (unspoken expectations about gender roles, for example). These beliefs can create resistance by making us feel that we’re betraying our family or heritage by choosing a different path.
So, how do we work with this resistance? Here are a few strategies:
Awareness: The first step is to recognize the resistance. We can do this through mindfulness based practices and there are plenty in the library that can help. Pay attention to your habits, thoughts, and beliefs. Notice when you’re feeling resistant and get curious about it.
Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Resistance is a natural part of growth.
Patience: Change takes time. Just like healing from a physical injury, mental and emotional growth is a process.