Why You’re Feeling Blocked from Reaching Your Goals—and How to Move Forward
We’ve all been there: you set a goal, pour in your energy and effort, and yet somehow, you just can’t seem to make the progress you want. Whether it’s advancing in your career, improving your finances, or deepening a relationship, you may feel like there’s an invisible barrier holding you back. Despite feeling ready for that next level, the results just aren’t happening.
The answer to why this happens often lies in an unaddressed part of ourselves—specifically, the Shadow. The Shadow refers to aspects of ourselves that we hide, deny, or feel ashamed of. And this Shadow can form around major areas in life, such as money, career, relationships, or health, usually stemming from shame about past mistakes or perceived shortcomings. By recognizing these hidden parts, you can release the blocks keeping you from achieving your goals. Here’s a closer look at how shame and the Shadow may be holding you back and what you can do to move forward.
1. Understanding the Shadow’s Role in Self-Sabotage
When we feel shame about past mistakes—say, financial decisions that led to debt, or regrets over how we’ve handled relationships—it often goes unexamined. This shame can settle into our subconscious, influencing our behaviors and decisions in ways we’re barely aware of. Maybe you feel ready to move forward with a new goal, but deep down, shame tells you that you’re undeserving or unworthy.
By hiding parts of ourselves, we set up internal conflicts. Part of us wants to grow, but another part fears that growth will expose past “failures.” The result? You feel stuck, unable to reach goals because there’s something unresolved that your mind is still holding onto.
2. How Shame Stops Progress
Shame has a unique way of blocking progress. When we carry hidden shame around something—like a relationship mistake or financial misstep—it impacts how we view ourselves. Maybe you’ve carried debt for years and keep it a big secret, telling yourself that you’re not someone who “deserves” financial freedom. Or perhaps a relationship ended badly, and you believe you’re not worthy of a healthy connection. This type of shame creates a negative inner dialogue, reinforcing limiting beliefs that make you hesitant or even resistant to fully embrace your goals.
Moving forward while carrying shame is like trying to run a race with an anchor tied to your foot. You may have all the motivation in the world, but until that weight is acknowledged and released, your progress will be limited.
3. Transforming Shame into Responsibility
The way to free yourself from this internal conflict is by shifting shame into responsibility. This doesn’t mean blaming yourself or feeling guiltier. Rather, it’s about acknowledging the choices or situations that have contributed to the shame and taking ownership of them. By doing this, you turn the shame into a form of power that allows you to move forward without the same emotional baggage.
To do this, ask yourself:
Are there regrets I’ve been avoiding?
Are there actions I can take to make amends, even if it’s just forgiving myself?
What’s one piece of my story that I’m ready to own?
By embracing responsibility, you’re giving yourself permission to let go of shame and, instead, reclaim control over your path.
4. Finding the Good Parts in Your Story
A crucial part of this process is not only accepting the challenging aspects but also recognizing the beauty in your story. Look at the moments, actions, or decisions that you may feel ashamed of and consider: was there anything positive that came from them?
For example, if you’re carrying debt, perhaps it allowed you to help a friend, experience something memorable, or invest in yourself in ways that were meaningful. If you’ve experienced mistakes in relationships, there might have been lessons learned, good memories, or moments of real connection. By seeing both sides, you create a more balanced view of your past—and allow yourself to let go of the weight.
5. Making Room for Genuine Growth
When you’ve shifted shame to responsibility and found positive aspects in your story, you’ll find that you have space for growth that feels more authentic. This process might not happen overnight, but it will gradually lighten your load, creating a new foundation from which to pursue your goals. Instead of feeling blocked, you’ll experience a sense of readiness and openness for new possibilities.
Final Thoughts
Feeling blocked from your goals isn’t always about a lack of motivation or effort. Often, it’s a sign that something deeper needs attention—an unexamined part of yourself that’s ready to be acknowledged and integrated. By exploring your Shadow, transforming shame into responsibility, and celebrating the beauty in your journey, you can clear the path toward genuine progress.
Remember, it’s not about being perfect or flawless; it’s about embracing all parts of yourself so you can move forward freely, no longer weighed down by the past.